There are some issues in marriages which, if not addressed, can be crippling to the marriage. These are the “biggies.” They may manifest themselves in other ways, but if you could trace back to the origin you would find these to be at fault.

Left to fester on their own, these sins will eventually be the destroyer of the marriage or certainly keep it from achieving the oneness God commanded.

So, what are these damaging sins? I’m glad you asked.


Marriage won’t work without mutual submission. Read Ephesians 5:21. Marriage is not a 50/50 arrangement. Ideally it’s to be a 100/100 bond — where both spouses willingly yield their all. (And, I used the word ideally because your marriage is not there and neither is mine.) When one spouse demands their way or will never work toward a compromise, the relationship can never be all it should be. One person is happy — the one who got their way — and the other is miserable.


There are seasons in every relationship that aren’t as “exciting” as others. Some days you will “feel” more in love than other days. But, the key to a long-term relationship is a commitment beyond emotion.


There are seasons in every relationship that aren’t as “exciting” as others.


When one spouse can never admit they are wrong or see their flaws, it opens the door for a wedge of bitterness in the other spouse. Pride is also destructive when the couple is too proud to admit their struggles or get the help they need.

Les Parrott's Making Happy
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Lack of Forgiveness

Holding on to past hurts not only damages the marriage bond, it destroys the person who refuses to forgive. Trust can’t be developed until forgiveness is granted. And, isn’t grace expected to be extended?


Scripture is clear — we should not go to bed in anger. And, there is a reason. Anger is a wedge that only grows wider when not dealt with over time.


As soon as you think your marriage is above the problems of other relationships, you’re in trouble. The enemy loves to attack the unaware.


Couples who compare themselves to other couples will almost always be disappointed. There will always be people with more — and it likely isn’t making them as happy as you think it does. And many times people disguise their struggles well. The couple you imagine “has it all” may wish they had what you have. Every couple is unique. Comparison only leads to frustration.

Ask yourself this question: Which of these is most prevalent in my marriage today? Which is causing the greatest harm? Which of these, while it may not be an issue today, could be if we don’t get serious about it soon?

Be honest with yourself — and ultimately — with your spouse.

Reprinted by permission from