The couple who prays together stays together. It might be cliché, but it’s true. A recent study showed the divorce rate for couples who pray together on a consistent basis is less than one-percent. Can you believe that? Less than one-percent of couples who pray together consistently end up divorced. While praying together does not guarantee a perfect, joyful marriage, it certainly provides some protection against the painful consequences of divorce. Not only that, but praying together will also grow your relationship with each other and, even more importantly, with the Lord. I’ve seen many couples establish a healthy and consistent prayer life from day one of marriage.
Here are two prayer examples to help you begin praying daily for your future marriage. It might even lead some of you to realize you or your significant other aren’t ready for marriage together—and trust me, that’s a good thing to know before you say “I do.”
God loves us with a steadfast love, and your marriage will require the same of you
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3
In your marriage vows, you and your significant other will make some big promises: to stay together in sickness, poverty, and hard times. You will commit to being steadfast—firm and unwavering—to your spouse. God loves us with a steadfast love, and your marriage will require the same of you. The way to experience peace and joy in your marriage is through a steadfast love and trust in the Lord and in your spouse.
It might seem odd for a premarried couple to pray for steadfastness, but this attribute is central to all healthy marriages. I’ve seen the importance of this trait lived out with a friend who lost her husband of fifty-one years. For twelve years she walked alongside him through a major stroke and related complications. She stood by his side until he passed away from cancer.
I’ve seen this kind of steadfastness much closer to home as I watched my mom love and serve my stepdad through his battle with Alzheimer’s. For years she cared for him all day, every day, as he battled with the cognitive and physical challenges associated with his disease.
On the premarried side, you have no idea what lies ahead. You can’t predict whether you’ll experience financial challenges, infertility, wayward children, or struggles with addictions. All any of us know is that in this world we will have troubles (John 16:33).
As you get ready to say “I do,” pray that you will be a steadfast spouse: firm, unwavering, and immovable in both the celebrations and trials of life. You won’t allow the wins of life to pull you off course in following Jesus, and you won’t allow life’s challenges to cause you to question the goodness of God. A steadfast spouse remains faithful and unwavering in their trust in the Lord regardless of their circumstances.
During my last seventeen years in full-time marriage ministry, I’ve watched steadfast couples weather many storms while couples who lacked this trait crumbled under the challenges and pressures of the world. As I type these words, I’m praying that your lives and your future marriage will be marked by steadfastness.
God, help us to be immovable and unwavering in both the victories and challenges of life. Help us to fight together as a couple for unity and strength during our day-to-day trials, both large and small. Help us to be steadfast. We pray we will remain.
Desperate for the Lord
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
The word desperate has a negative connotation. No one wants to be desperate for anything. It makes you sound as if you’d be willing to compromise and settle for something less. But I’d like to suggest a different meaning for this word when it comes to marriage. Couples who come to the Lord with desperation know they bring nothing to the table and must completely rely upon the Lord.
When I’m desperate for the Lord, I know I don’t come with a résumé of things to brag about. I’m not prideful of my skills, and I realize my best accomplishments are like “filthy rags” to the Lord (Isa. 64:6). It keeps me at a place where I am dependent on God to be my strength and to be the source of hope in our marriage. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing (John 15:5), so we come desperate for Him to do what only He can do in our lives and in our marriage.
Paul wrote about his weaknesses in 2 Corinthians 12 when he shared about “a thorn in [his] flesh” (v. 7). In his weakness and impairment, Paul knew God’s power would be made perfect in his dependence on Him. When we humbly acknowledge our need for God to be strong in our lives, we admit our need for His help and grace. While the world values strength and independence, God values a humble, desperate dependence on Him. Once again, God works in a completely different way from the world.
I remember the days when each of our four sons was a baby, completely dependent on Kristen and me for everything. The only thing they could do on their own was cry, eat, sleep, and poop. And even in those things we had to help them! Our babies needed us for everything and desperately cried out for our help.
Early in your marriage, you will more than likely struggle at some point along the way. Instead of trying to fix it on your own, be desperate and come to the Lord to help you. As a baby cries out for his or her caregivers, so you can desperately cry out to the Lord.
Lord, we need You. Every day, minute, and hour of our lives we need You. We think we can fix things all on our own, and we think our accomplishments are a big deal. But please remind us how much we need You, that we should learn to be desperate for You. Help us to remember that when we are weak and dependent, we are strong—not in our own power but in Yours.
Get the Book
Taken from The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide: 100 Prayers for Dating and Engaged Couples by Scott Kedersha, published by Baker Books (c) 2023; Used with permission.[schemaapprating]