One of my (Pam’s) favorite candies are Red Hots, or Red Hot Tamales. That zesty cinnamon flavor really makes me feel alive! I think that is why so many euphemisms for sex and romance are related to red, hot, or fire. Think about it, “Come on baby light my fire”, or “Hunka hunka burnin’ love,” Maybe you were from a conservative background and didn’t listen to those tunes, but you may have whispered things in the throws of passion like, “You set my heart ablaze,” or, “I am consumed by your love.” Don’t we all long to be loved so intensely that nothing can stop or quench the burning passion?

Why do we long for that kind of intense, all-consuming love? Because God designed us to give and receive love. He hard wired us for passion. The media is filled with all kinds of pictures of sexuality, but they are false, lies, misrepresentations of the real thing. So move over Victoria! Sizzling sex and real romance– Red Hot Monogamy was God’s secret long before it was Victoria’s secret!

The world needs to see more couples who have strong marriages. In our book, Red Hot Monogamy, we give couples lots of information to make their dating and romantic life red hot (over 200 red hot date ideas are included in the book). So if you want to make your romance red hot this Valentine’s Day, then consider this acrostic for H.O.T and check out a few of the many ideas from Red Hot Monogamy, maybe something listed will fan the flame, light a spark, and set the heart of your spouse aflame!

H is for Hear my Heart

Romance is personal. Use Valentine’s Day to tell your spouse: I was listening! Maybe your love has wanted to experience something unique like:

· Retro romance: Have an old fashioned evening. Send a formal invitation; Come to the door with flowers and chocolates; Open all the doors; perhaps find a “malt shop” or some other nostalgic place to go on the date. Find the “Lover’s Lane” place to park and “look at the moon” and steam up the car windows a bit; Give a kiss under the light at the door at the end of the evening.

· Have dinner someplace different in your home: in front of the fire place, on the rooftop, on the patio or balcony out back, in the attic, under the tree in the back yard, etc.

· Create a luau in the living room: borrow some plants, get some island music, throw down some beach towels, ring in luau food, wear your sarong or bathing suit.

Or compliment your love:

· Use everyday items to send a unique set of messages, The title of a candy bar with a note that says, “You are a “Big Hunk” of Burning Love , or I’m “Red Hot: for your love. Or use what is in your home: “You are my CUP of tea”; “I love to STAIR at you!” “You’ve opened the DOOR to my heart.”

· Write your own “feature” article about your spouse who was just named, “World’s greatest Lover”. Include all their bet traits as a lover, add in a picture of this famous lover and frame it!

· Use a magazine cover like Time’s Person of the Year and scan in your spouse’s picture. Or use Glamour or GQ or other magazine with catchy headlines but replace the model with a picture of your mate.

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· “How do I love thee, let me count the ways”: Write on a set of index cards all the reasons you love your spouse; make a paper chain of her or his best qualities; bring one a flower for each positive trait you want to recount and bring them in one at a time to her as your verbally list off what makes your heart sing.

O is for Offer to Lower my Stress

Romance is one of the best ways to show tender loving care to your mate. Use this evening to create a spa for the soul type experience. Men, when surveyed for our book, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti noted that what is romantic to them is a woman who will make their life easier. And women noted that what is sexy to them is a husband doing things like the dishes, playing with the kids or doing her honey do list!

· Kidnap” your spouse from work or other responsibility — like in the middle of mowing the lawn — and blind fold them and take him/her to a romantic rendezvous.

· Bring in breakfast in bed with an invitation to spend the whole day in bed.

· Exercise together, ride a tandem bike, or dance in the living room.

· Run a bubble bath by candlelight with rose pedals floating in the water, followed by a spa quality massage.

T is for Take Your Time to Romance Me

Romance is better if it isn’t rushed. So if you can extend your romance plan to an entire day or weekend, big romance points will be made.

  • Recreate your first date. If you can still fit into it, wear the same clothes, if not, at least go to the same places. Revist the place where you honeymooned for a second honeymoon. Return to the place you first kissed, the place you proposed, the place you first met.
  • Relax: Check a book out of the library or buy a book of love poems. Sit in front of the fire place in each other’s arms and take turns reading poems to each other.

The result of this Valentine’s Day of red hot romance will linger — and most likely the results will be noticeable. People will be able to tell that you two have Red Hot Monogamy. They will see it in the sparkle of your eyes, from the smile on your face and from the skip in your step. When sparks are flying, no one has to say a word, everyone can tell when someone is in love. Your love will be a light of hope, others will get a snapshot of what God’s love looks like in a marriage relationship. Strike the match — plan some Red Hot Monogamy for this holiday.

Copyright © 2007 Pam and Bill Farrel. All rights reserved.

Pam and Bill Farrel are relationship specialists, international speakers and authors of over 26 books including, best selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. The Farrels have been married for 27 years, their newest book is Red Hot Monogamy and they can be contacted at:

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