Holy Sex

Staying faithful doesn’t involve just not sleeping with someone other than your spouse. It means putting your best effort and energy into enhancing the romance you have with your mate. Faithfulness is more than saying no to others; it’s also saying yes to your spouse.

One of my favorite ways to keep saying yes to my wife, Annie, is to plan second honeymoons. This tradition began during a particularly difficult time in our life together. I was still on the road with the band, and we never seemed to have the time together we needed. So I secretly arranged for my mother to watch our children for a weekend. I made a reservation at the motel out of town. Later, Annie told me that weekend marked a turning point in our life together. That second honeymoon turned out  to be the first of many, and through experience, I’ve come up with some suggestions to help you create some second honeymoons of your own.

Take the initiative in planning the second honeymoon. When you announce what you’ve planned, be prepared to pick your wife up off the floor after she faints.

Find out if the date you’ve chosen is clear on her schedule. You may need to enlist the help of one of her friends to make sure that calendar date stays open. Also you’ll want to avoid the time of her monthly period. And if you want to display an incredible amount of sacrifice, plan your second honeymoon on either Super Bowl weekend or during the NBA playoffs—and don’t watch them, talk about them, or sneak a peek on TV.

Hire a sitter. Ask the potential sitter if she’s willing to take your kids so your wife and you can have some special, much-needed time together. Tell the sitter up front what you plan to pay so there’s no confusion. Also make sure she knows this is a surprise for your wife. Most important: Make sure the sitter is dependable. And give her strict instructions not to call unless she’s being tied to a post and the kids are lighting matches.

Stay at a motel. It’s usually more romantic–and the two of you won’t have to clean it when you leave. Choose a place that’s not more than one to three hours away.

Call a florist and arrange for flowers to be placed in your room. Be sure the message you include with the bouquet sets a romantic tone for your time together. And when you pack, include a nice fragrant candle. (It’ll not only sweeten the air in your room, but candlelight does wonders for untanned, wrinkled, and cellulite-dimpled bodies.)

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When you arrive, take each other’s hands and pray. As the Lord to purify the room and fill it with his love and protection.

Don’t talk about the kids. This time is meant to remind you that you are not only Mom and Dad, you are also husband and wife, lovers, and friends. Avoid talking about business and all that other daily-life junk that fills up space but doesn’t draw you closer. There will be time to solve the problems with the plumber’s bill and Johnny’s math grade when you get home.

Plan entertainment that’s fun for you both. Don’t get tickets to a ball game unless she’s a big fan. Avoid movie theaters and plays because you’ll wind up spending three hours watching other people relate to each other rather than getting closer yourselves. Especially avoid television. If you wanted to send your time with Seinfeld returns, you should have saved your money and stayed home.

Be full of surprises. Write her a poem and stash it in her luggage when she’s not looking. Buy a card that expresses how you feel about her. Get her some of her favorite perfume or bring along an iPod loaded with her favorite songs.

Plan at least one nice meal in a romantic restaurant. For the weekend, you might also want to take along some snacks such as grapes, cheese, and crackers. (If all goes well, you may find you never want to leave your room! You didn’t on your first honeymoon, did you?)

These instructions are aimed at husbands. However, I know some women might wait a lifetime for their husbands to pull off a romantic getaway. If that’s true for you, then certainly feel free to initiate second honeymoons. Maybe you can plan it together. However a second honeymoon  happens, the rewards are worth it.

Taken from I Love You and I Like You. Copyright © 1989; updated 2013 by Steve and Annie Chapman. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon 97402. www.harvesthousepublishers.com. Used by permission.