Experiencing Love

Love is patient, love is kind…

[Love] always protects,

always trusts, always hopes,

always perseveres.


Helen Keller wrote this delightful explanation of love:

I remember the morning that I first asked the meaning of the word “love.” This was before I knew many words. I had found a few early violets in the garden and brought them to my teacher. She tried to kiss me, but at that time I did not like to have anyone kiss me except my mother. Miss Sullivan put her arm gently around me and spelled into my hand, “I love Helen.”

“What is love?” I asked.

She drew me closer to her and said, “It is here,” pointing to my heart….

Her words puzzled me very much because I did not then understand anything unless I touched it. I smelled the violets in her hand and asked, half in words, half in signs, a question which meant “Is love the sweetness of flowers?”

“No,” said my teacher.

Again I thought. The warm sun was shining on us.

“Is this not love?” I asked, pointing in the direction from which the heat came.

A day or two afterward…the sun had been under a cloud all day, and there had been brief showers, but suddenly the sun broke forth in all its southern splendor. Again I asked my teacher, “Is this not love?”

“Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out,” she replied. Then in simpler words than these, which at that time I could not have understood, she explained: “You cannot touch the clouds, you know, but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You cannot touch love either; but you feel the sweetness that it pours into everything. Without love you would not be happy or want to play.”

The beautiful truth burst upon my mind — I felt that these were invisible lines stretched between my spirit and the spirit of others.

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Throughout Scripture we read of love, love, love. Can we smell it? Can we feel it? Can we taste it? Can we hear it? Men, when you love your wives, all of their senses will light up. There’s nothing more beautiful and exciting than a wife who feels loved.

Express Your Love

Give your wife the night off. You fix dinner and clean up afterward. Get your kids to help.

Knowing the Foundations for Love

Before you can fully love your wife, you must first realize from a biblical point of view why you are to love — and what means there are to get to that result. No Christian growth is possible without obedience to the Scriptures.

The “natural man” must have a change of heart before he can make changes toward godly outward obedience. In 2 Chronicles 34:33 we read, “Throughout [Josiah’s] lifetime they did not turn from following the Lord God of their fathers,” and in Joshua 24:15, Joshua asserts, “As for me and my house, we will the serve the Lord.” These two verses tell us that there must be a commitment by each of us to choose to worship God before we can step out in action and truly love one another.

Love given to another person must first be given to God. John 14:15 tells us Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” When He was asked, “Which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Then He said, “The second is like it, ”˜You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:36-39).

It is obvious that God gives us a guideline that we are to love Him first before we are able to truly love anyone else. Men, you are to love God first, and then you can think about loving your wives. A godly woman yearns for a man who will worship God. She understands that if you can love God and put Him first in your life, you are then able to truly love her sacrificially.

A successful life is lived by one who has the right priorities in his life — being obedient to God’s Word — and then putting into action what he knows to be true. Love is really acting out in all relationships what you know to be true about the love of God. If you have not made the decision to love and serve God in your life, then seek out a friend or pastor who can lead you through that process. Your understanding of love will increase dramatically!

Love is expressed when you stop living life your way and turn to living life God’s way. When your marriage is based on God’s principles, then your loving leadership in the family builds trust and security for your wife and your children.

Christian growth is a long, often difficult process. However, if you as the husband will be committed to the headship of Jesus in your family and to the authority of Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16), these priorities will give you the inspiration and courage you need to live responsibly. When you live like this, your wife and children will have a true sense of being loved.

All of us spend a good part of our lives earnestly searching for the most rewarding feeling of all — love. As tiny babes, we look to those around us to give us love. Later on in life, we read books and magazines, attend workshops and seminars, and have long conversations with others attempting to improve our understanding of love.

Despite our best efforts, we still have a hard time defining love. So what is this sought-after feeling? According to Scripture, it’s much more than a fleeting emotion. Instead, love is a decision that we consciously make each day, and its presence is revealed in how we treat our spouses and others. When we love them, we choose to do what’s best for them. The ultimate example of this kind of love is found in the primary love God has for us: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Now that’s love! In spite of our not always choosing to do things His way, God gave us His only Son so that we might be forgiven and delight in His everlasting caring. When we are able to capture even a glimpse of the magnitude of God’s love, we gain an immense understanding of what love is all about. And we gradually discover that He has placed in us a capacity to love others far beyond what we could ever imagine. Through this we begin to love God, love ourselves, and love others. In fact, this becomes our main mission of life. This kind of love — agape love, the highest expression of love — can conquer all. It comes directly from heaven. When it enters our hearts, we are truly blessed with its rewards.

Pillow Talk

  • How much importance do you place on academic education?
  • If you could talk to God face-to-face and ask one question, what would it be?
  • Do you have a hero? Who is it and why?
  • What is your happiest memory?
  • What would be your ideal vacation?

Love Gestures

  • I love a man who can be tough and tender.
  • I love a man who values my opinions.
  • I love a man who gives me financial security.
  • I love a man who washes my car.
  • I love a man who cuts my hair and gives me a pedicure
  • I love a man who will really listen to me.

Taken from  What Makes a Woman Feel Loved? by Emille Barnes.
Copyright © 2007 Emille Barnes, Published by Harvest House.