Surviving an Affair
Spouses who have not experienced an affair firsthand are usually very trusting. They don’t believe that infidelity could ever infect their marriage. I often hear, “My spouse could never be…
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Marriage Help
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Love Hurts
There’s a well-known Roy Orbison song called “Love Hurts” that kicks off with these words: “Love hurts/love’s scars, love wounds and mars.”
While singer Roy Orbison was no marriage guru, his lyrics hit home. You feel pain when someone you love betrays or injures you. Certain actions or attitudes – unfaithfulness, selfishness, addiction — can wreak emotional and even physical wounds on a relationship that’s supposed to make you feel happy and safe. And when those wounds come from the person with whom you’ve joined yourself, heart and soul, in a covenant before God, the knife twists–and the pain increases.
The truth is, sometimes love hurts because we’re fallen creatures living in a fallen world. This broken world often hands us unwelcome trials – a job loss, a miscarriage, a chronic illness, a child with special needs. But sometimes our own needy nature causes us to inflict pain on our spouse by succumbing to volcanic anger, abuse, or an addiction (pornography, alcohol, even television). Whether it’s done unwittingly or intentionally, we damage our marriage when we go MIA emotionally, fight, or react to conflict in passive-aggressive or narcissistic ways instead of ways that honor God and resolve problems.
When your spouse hurts you, your marriage is hurt. And when your marriage is hurt, you hurt. It’s as simple and as circular as that, like the wedding band you wear. But God can provide hope, help, and healing. Check out the following articles to help you when love hurts — and your marriage feels the pain.
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Chronic Illness & Kids: One Happy Family
For most couples, the decision to have a child is a no-brainer. After a year or two of married life, you decide you’re ready to transition from being newlyweds to…
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What’s Wrong With Our Marriage
Listen to these comments I’ve heard from four individuals, each in a different troubled marriage. Wife A: “It’s gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got…
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Intimacy Anorexia: Reconnecting
Characteristics, continued… Withholding Spiritually. Intimacy anorexics can be very religious by attending church and sometimes even being the pastor or spiritual leader at the church. At home they rarely pray…
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Talking Through the Tough Stuff
My life changed rapidly one afternoon last fall. I’d been pacing the house waiting for Jonathan’s phone call about his test results. And when it came, and he said “Cancer,”…
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Making the Most of Counseling
If you find yourself in a place where there are no recommendations from people you trust, then research provider lists with health insurance, the telephone book or online may be…
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