Lost That Lovin’ Feeling?
All marriages go through periods where things just aren’t as they should be. The stress and pace of life cause tension in the best marriages. Even good marriages suffer at…
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Marriage Help
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Love Hurts
There’s a well-known Roy Orbison song called “Love Hurts” that kicks off with these words: “Love hurts/love’s scars, love wounds and mars.”
While singer Roy Orbison was no marriage guru, his lyrics hit home. You feel pain when someone you love betrays or injures you. Certain actions or attitudes – unfaithfulness, selfishness, addiction — can wreak emotional and even physical wounds on a relationship that’s supposed to make you feel happy and safe. And when those wounds come from the person with whom you’ve joined yourself, heart and soul, in a covenant before God, the knife twists–and the pain increases.
The truth is, sometimes love hurts because we’re fallen creatures living in a fallen world. This broken world often hands us unwelcome trials – a job loss, a miscarriage, a chronic illness, a child with special needs. But sometimes our own needy nature causes us to inflict pain on our spouse by succumbing to volcanic anger, abuse, or an addiction (pornography, alcohol, even television). Whether it’s done unwittingly or intentionally, we damage our marriage when we go MIA emotionally, fight, or react to conflict in passive-aggressive or narcissistic ways instead of ways that honor God and resolve problems.
When your spouse hurts you, your marriage is hurt. And when your marriage is hurt, you hurt. It’s as simple and as circular as that, like the wedding band you wear. But God can provide hope, help, and healing. Check out the following articles to help you when love hurts — and your marriage feels the pain.
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Safety Before Intimacy
The gentleman sitting before me was utterly demoralized, his face ashen with his long, graying hair falling into his face. Don looked down before he spoke. “I came here as…
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Stop Fighting & Start Connecting
Many couples come to The Marriage Recovery Center full of bitterness, anger, and resentment. They find themselves trapped in this continuous cycle of fighting, trying to prove their point, or…
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Relating to the Emotionally Detached Man
The Man Who Thought He Was An Ostrich “I’m so frustrated,” Carolyn said, spitting out her words. “Why do I have to be the one to care about our marriage?…
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Breaking the Hurt Legacy
The Habits We Learn We are all imperfect people. We live in a fallen world, and sin is a reality we all deal with. We all have pain and dysfunction…
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Sexual Addiction in Marriage
The Discovery Have you just discovered your spouse on the internet viewing pornography? Or even worse, have you found evidence of your mate soliciting others for sex? If so, are…
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The Reality of Emotional Abuse
The Symptoms Do you ever feel as if you are living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Is your spouse loved by family, co-workers, and friends? Yet, when he/she is…
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Living With a Passive-Aggressive Man
Staying Clear, Calm and Connected “He really makes me angry,” Kate said to me during a recent counseling session. She had been preparing to ask her husband to join…
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Emotional Abuse
Emotional Abuse Through Words Words can be powerful tools or powerful weapons. The weapon of choice for emotional abusers is often verbal. They use their words to control, to wound,…
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Emotional Absence
What’s the Problem? If your husband is emotionally distant despite your best efforts to help him to engage with you, don’t automatically assume that he doesn’t feel emotions. That is…
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