My husband, Daniel, and I conduct seminars on how to turn marriages into blazing love affairs. I’m the primary teacher, Daniel and I share musically, and Daniel takes care of the details of the gathering. Recently I booked an engagement for a marriage event. During the conversation I explained that I start with the teachings of Jesus Christ. I don’t interpret any Scriptures in a way that contradicts or violates the teachings of Christ. The response from the booking person was the same one I’ve received many times:

“Oh good. I’m so relieved. Thank you. This is so refreshing. It sounds wonderful!”

When God began to open my mind and heart to the concepts in this book, I honestly thought I was alone in my journey. When He impressed me to start sharing these revolutionary principles, I was terrified I would be “stoned” for daring to present a new model of marriage. But I obeyed God. The results have been eye-opening. I haven’t been pilloried at all. More often than not, I’ve been applauded by men and women who express relief.

Surprisingly to me, some of the applause has come from couples who have gray in their hair and have been married many years. I’ve finally come to understand that many couples who stay together for several decades eventually grow into the Marriage Revolution model. They may not call it that. They may even still identify their marriage as “traditional hierarchical,” despite the fact that neither the husband nor wife makes any major decisions without consulting the other and coming to a mutual agreement. But they’ve outgrown the “traditional” label without realizing it. What they’re really experiencing is “revolution.”

They’ve learned, as Daniel and I have, that a solid marriage involves a servant’s heart and mentality from both spouses — a focus on the other person, selfless giving from both parties, and decision making by consensus. This attitude also impacts the romance of a marriage. In a high-romance marriage there is no thought of “I’m in charge” or “It’s my way or no way,” which in effect diminishes one spouse before God and in the home. To fully achieve the most exciting marriage, both spouses must be willing to fully embrace the teachings of Jesus Christ and apply them to their marriage. Show me a marriage that is exhilarating and exciting after 30 or 50 years, and I’ll show you a couple who is living the revolution — no matter what label they place on it.

Embrace the Revolution!
Allow God to perform a revolution in your marriage! Open the door to fantastic romance and an exciting bedroom life by wholeheartedly embracing the teachings of the greatest revolutionary who ever lived — Jesus Christ! Jesus marched into history and turned the tables on contemporary mores. He healed the blind, the maimed, the epileptic, and did so even on the Sabbath, a violation of the Jewish faith He was born into. He actively loved outcasts, forgave adulteresses, and hung out with the wrong crowd — tax collectors and prostitutes. He carried on significant conversations with women, which was taboo because women were tightly controlled and restricted by men and religion in those days. They were permitted conversations with only husbands, family, and other women.

Consulting the Revolutionary
“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you” (John 15:12 NASB). Although Jesus is speaking to His disciples here, this commandment applies to all Christians, including husbands and wives. Because Paul exhorts husbands in Ephesians 5:25 to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church,” many say that sacrificial love is solely the husband’s role. This causes many Christian women to fold their arms and wait for their husbands to manifest this level of love. I’ve heard more than one woman say, “I’m not going to put any energy into my marriage until my husband shows me this level of love.” This mind-set is dangerous and one-sided, which is what often happens when Scripture is approached in a one-dimensional way to prove or justify a preconceived notion or desire.

Commanding one spouse to love on a deeper level than the other is equivalent to saying one spouse should be more Christlike than the other. When both mates allow the miraculous love of Christ to flood their hearts, the result is a spilling out of that love upon the spouse and into the home. And that “love covers all sins” and works as a healing balm for past hurts (Proverbs 10:12 NKJV).

Revolution Prayer Points

  • Pray that Christ will show you what He sees in your mate.
  • As you read the words of Jesus, pray that God will open your heart and mind to everything that can apply to your marriage.
  • Ask God to open your heart and mind to His voice in regard to your marriage.
  • Beseech the Lord to prepare your heart for a revolution.
  • Pray that God will give you the courage to embrace change in yourself and your home.

Revolution Romance

Practice the heart of Christ. Give your mate a foot massage. Slather on massage lotion and pat his or her feet dry with a new hand towel. Keep the towel in a special place so you both see it daily as a reminder to keep a servant’s heart.

Taken from The Marriage Revolution.

Copyright © 2008 by Debra White Smith. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR. Used by permission.